


The One Where Ted Babysits Alice

by okemmelie



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 19:15:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20214877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okemmelie/pseuds/okemmelie
Summary: Ted is betrayed by everyone at the office when he's the only one who doesn't have weekend plans and Bill needs a babysitter for Alice.





	The One Where Ted Babysits Alice

**Author's Note:**

> the only "warning" i have is that i have ignored logical timing in this. ted works at the office, but alice is somehow eight, bill and his wife are still together, and emma's in hatchetfield it is 100% intentional but it's also dumb. originally written for a writing prompt on tumblr dot com (catch me at jichter).

“Hey Ted.”

He shook his head. Bill had already asked him twice and he could feel the same question coming again. “Uh-huh, Bill. I’m not gonna be babysitting for you. Alice is eight, she can take care of herself, alright?”

A sigh came from Paul’s table. In Ted’s opinion, this was his fault. Usually, Paul would be the one who agreed to watch over Bill’s daughter, but he already had plans this weekend and so, the responsibility fell on someone else. Since Charlotte and Sam’s wedding anniversary was this weekend, that someone else was Ted. Unbelievable. “Take her to Oakly park.”

This made both Ted and Bill turn their attention to him. “Yeah, Paul? And why exactly would I do that when I already said I’m not babysitting her? _Three times_.”

“Yeah, but… uh, it’s summer. Lots of people visit Oakly in the summer. Lots of _girls_.” Okay. So maybe Paul had a point. He was at least gonna let him finish without making a smart remark. “And… you know. In my experience, the ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

Bill had to cut in: “Paul! You’re not seriously suggesting he uses my daughter to–”

“Yeah, yeah, Bill. Shut up. No one cares.” Ted interrupted. “I’ll do it. I’ll babysit her. But Bill. Bill? You owe me one.”

As Saturday came closer and closer, it dawned on Ted that Paul might not have been completely honest with him. Why would he take dating advice from Paul of all people? That was just dumb. At least he had a favor to cash in. And hey, maybe it wouldn’t hurt for him to try stupid Paul’s stupid idea.

The two of them made their way towards Oakly not long after Bill had dropped Alice off at his place. The kid seemed stoked to be going there and Ted figured he’d have better chances if he didn’t go there too late. He’d brought a picnic table for them and they sat on it together for a while as Ted explained the rules of today to her. And maybe he did this just so people would see he had a child with him, but Alice didn’t need to know that.

When she ran off to the playground, Ted looked around for a second until he caught the eyes of a woman sitting in a blanket with two other ladies. He did the only reasonable thing he could think of: Winked at her. This seemed to make her smile, but she quickly turned to giggle and gossip with her friends.

Babysitting was boring. No ladies, no men – _no one_ came up to talk to him. And he had pinky promised Alice that he’d stay on the blanket, so it wasn’t like he could just leave. Paul’s advice had been utterly useless and he wasn’t sure why this surprised him.

Alice eventually joined him on the blanket again and Ted decided he had deserved a treat by now, so they went to the nearby ice cream stand.

“I’ll have a chai ice tea.” He said, giving the woman a smile. When he didn’t say anything else for a while, he felt a tug in his sleeve. “Oh! And an ice cream for the little misses.”

Her ice cream was up first. “Can I bring this to the playground, Mr. Ted?”

“Abso-fu…. lutely. Absolutely.” Bill would kill him if he swore around his daughter. And sure, Bill wasn’t the most intimidating man on the planet, but Ted had met his wife at company Christmas dinners and he was not taking any chances.

“Nicely saved, man.” Ted turned to face the voice. The ice cream lady was talking to him. “Is she yours?”

“Oh no. Just babysitting for the day. Giving her some free-time away from her parents.” He gave her a smile as he leaned against the stand. Maybe now was his chance?

She handed over his drink. “Oh, good. I _thought_ you looked a bit young to have a child that old.”

“Yeah. Like, don’t get me wrong, kids are great. Nothing wrong with them. But I’m just not there yet, y’know.” Was that a pickup line? He wasn’t sure, but he figured he’d just sprinkle it in there. And at least she nodded. “I’m Ted, by the way.”

“Emma.” For a while, she didn’t say anything and neither did Ted, but when it appeared to her that he wasn’t getting up to leave the stand, she continued. “Oh. Can I get you anything else?”

“How about your number?”

She smiled politely, but to Ted’s knowledge, that was not the kind of smile you wanted in a situation like this. At least there were no more need for conversation. He nodded, threw her some finger guns real quick, grabbed his chai ice tea and left to go sit on the blanket again.

If Paul asked any questions on Monday, he was gonna make up a story about the woman he had winked at earlier and there was nothing anyone could do to stop him.


End file.
